Betty Jo Arnett Lykins

Retired Educator, writer, storyteller, historian, environmentalist, friend. 
Mother, grandmother, great grandmother. Bachelor's, Masters, Rank I, educational degrees from Morehead State University. Resides at 275 Patrick Drive -Salyersville, KY 41465 with husband of 58 years J.T. Lykins.
[email protected]

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Evolution of Writing

In 1960, I was a prissy young school teacher, writing silly rhyming poems...

                                         A searcher, a dreamer

                                         Always doing things my way

                                         Always had to be the leader

                                         Always had to have my say...


In 1976, a prissy school teacher, still writing, still searching, waiting...

                                          My head is filled with song

                                          My heart is full of music

                                          My soul longs to bring it all together

                                          In an artistic production.

                                          Maybe it will be a song,

                                          A book, a play, a quilt,

                                          An Appalachian curriculum,

                                          Or documentary, containing

                                          Segments of all the above...

                                          Today, I must be satisfied,

                                          Nurturing those I love.

                                          Tonight, I'll dream of meeting,

                                          A stranger that is stronger

                                          Than the deepest thought inside me.

                                          A stranger without need of nurturing

                                          Becoming my friend,

                                          Empathizing my presence ,

                                          Without feeling threatened...

 
In 1991, I was a prissy traveling educator, writing, writing, I met the
STRANGER who was STRONGER,  my writing settled, began to flow.

                                           My place is assured on earth

                                           My destiny is a microscopic speck

                                           Of universal matter.

                                           My sense of place, land and humanity

                                           Became wide and never ending

                                           Encompassing components

                                           From ancient generations.

                                           My dreams and aspirations

                                           Became deep and solitary,

                                           Enabling me to make sense

                                           From the chaos of the present

                                           Connecting to tenderness of the past,

                                           Allowing hope for the future.

                                           Blessed and EDIFIED I am!

                                          The STRANGER WHO WAS STRONGER

                                          Became my dearest friend...


Today , November 2, 2013 is a special occasion, I am a prissy senior citizen,
still writing.

                                             The years have come, the years have gone

                                             Rarely write a rhyming poem

                                             Today there is a special reason

                                             To celebrate the season

                                             It has been an awesome journey

                                             Writing lines with our friend Gurney!

                                             We HONOR you today...

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THE MOUNTAIN PARKWAY, COMMUNITY COLLEGES, BIRTH CONTROL PILLS
                        BROUGHT CHANGE TO APPALACHIAN WOMEN

                                                       Betty Jo Lykins


Three of the greatest engines of change for women in Appalachia, were birth control pills, the Mountain Parkway, and community colleges. These events, occurring concurrently in the early 1960's enabled women in rural remote communities to "catch, while catch can" displaying innate Strength, endurance, and perseverance. The statement appears to be an a rare combination; today, almost fifty years later, the change is evident.

In 1955' I was a fair nineteen year old maiden, yearning for excitement, knowledge, and romantic love. I had graduated from high school and attended a small junior for one year. I met a  dark handsome, wild and reckless Korean War veteran, who had seen the world! It was springtime in Kentucky, I truly believed love and excitement, would be all I ever needed. I became a young bride, and temporarily forgot the need for knowledge and book learning. By 1963, I had been a wife for eight years, and became the mother of three sons and three daughters. There was a great deal of excitement in my household. I tended the babies by day, sewed, listened to the radio, and read my old college texts at night. A
vague unrest filled my head and heart during these late night hours. We lived in an old farm house with no modern conveniences, the children were fed from a large vegetable garden, we had chickens and a milk cow.(I was a creative cook).

My husband found periodic work in construction, times were hard, but, in those days, girls got married to stay married.

Late one night I heard on my am radio, there had been a pill developed to prevent pregnancy. 

There costs and side effects, but, it worked with 99% accuracy. I was determined to find a way to try the medicine!

Around the same time all the men in the neighborhood were talking of a new road called the Mountain Parkway being built from Winchester to Prestonsburg. The road would be so fine, a trip to Lexington would take less than two hours. I heard more good news on my trusty little radio, a community college was opening in Prestonsburg, just 30 miles east of where we lived. I was not aware a plan was forming inside my head, until, I told my mother in a serious voice " I was returning to college". Mom was mystified. "What will you do with the children?" she asked "their daddy can tend them, he hasn't worked in a while," I replied. I was surprised at the joy and optimism I felt, by putting the idea into words. Mom must have felt the same way, because, I heard her singing as I walked back home. (I had acquired the birth control pills six months earlier They worked like a charm) my my body was my own again. Two of the children were in school and the baby would soon be out of diapers.

When I parked my old car on the Prestonsburg Community College Campus (only a 35 minute drive on that brand new road) on the day of registration, I was surprised to find one third or more of the students were my age or older. Many of the teaching staff were rude or indifferent toward the large crowd of non-traditional students. The group of women bonded quickly, sharing books, rides, lunches, and ideas. Between classes and lunch breaks we shared personal stories. Stories and experiences that would have caused a LESSER species of society to jump from the highest cliff or into a deep hole of water. Not us though, we were Appalachian Women! Stories of hunger, sick children, cold drafty houses, no indoor plumbing, hard work, and worst of all loneliness and isolation, combined with the fear of becoming pregnant from month to month.

Collectively, we realized, life had been harsh for each preceding generation of our maternal ancestors. Women had for two hundred years in these Appalachian Mountains been completely at the mercy of the men in their lives. We kept on studying, kept on talking, sometimes crying.,when Bob Dylan Sang, The Answer Is Blowing In The Wind, we knew we would find the answer by finding ourselves and the self of our maternal ancestors, by finishing the movement we had started. We had to keep on keeping on!

By the end of the first semester, we were the top students in all of our classes. Most of the professors recognized and acknowledged our diligence and courage. We made it through by enduring and persevering, graduating with awards and honors. That was only the beginning. We went on to Universities, became teachers, doctors, nurses,lawyers, business women, writers, artists, musicians, environmentalists, social activists, policiticians, and hell-raisers!

EDUCATION BECAME A WHETSTONE for Appalachian Women, sharpening our native
intellect into a bright shining edge. Awareness of the world beyond our communities, created desire for things of which we never dared to dream.  A steady income enabled us to purchase time saving appliances and dependable automobiles, we hit the Mountain Parkway in droves, driving to Lexington, to shop, attend conferences and concerts, have our teeh fixed, nose jobs, breast enhancements, hysterectomies, tubal libations and pelvic repair. We were articulate, demanding, and persistent in our effort for better schools and
environmental protection.

Looking back, I wonder if the change in the life of mountain women came too rapidly. The movement to obtain birth control was as strong if not stronger than the the hippie movement in urban areas. Maybe it was part of the counter culture. Women walked for miles from hollows and creeks to health departments and clinics to get those little pills and swallowed them like peppermint candy!

When our bodies became free from the burden of childbearing, our minds began to clear and realize the escape of drudgery was up to us. We recognized, rationalized, and justified our ability to budget, plan meals with a small variety and even smaller quantity of food, negotiate peace among children and siblings. A stern professor was a piece of cake, compared to husbands and fathers in our lives.

How did the men fare and react during these turbulent times? Collectively, at least 80% of the men were stunned. Employment was always an issue in Appalachia, a job could be here one day and gone the next. Returning to School  to become qualified for a permanent occupation occurred to very few. "Getting by" was simply enough for many, there was always a new baby to smile and think Daddy was King. When they finanally realized these babies were growing up, without another on the way, it was too late to reassertion themselves. Often they could be heard commiserating "war had been hell but was easier than a damn woman hell bent for progress".

In reality from ancient days until the 1960's mountain men had depended on virility to bolster their egos and keep women enslaved through childbearing. Suddenly their POWER was gone. They became complacent, lazy and depressed.

With the women going to school or working the men had plenty of time to watch television. Most rural households had a television set despite hard times. By the late 60's and early 70's, a common complaint among the menfolk was " a man could not sit down to watch a good western without the program being interrupted by a success story of some woman!" the male clergy preached for years on the theme A Woman's Place Is In The Home. They could NOT admit, that woman's wages was paying the rent or mortage, bought the color television set, and for all practical purposes was providing the home! By the late1980's, anti depressants had taken care of what little aggression and sex drive the men had left and they were content with satellite dishes and HBO. Adult children of these working
mothers were buying their fathers reclining chairs for Christmas and name brand walking shoes for their overworked super moms. Oh yes Dylan, times were a changing!

A few of these maverick women are divorced, some are widowed, but most remained married. In addition to being productive career women, most are devoted wives, mothers, and grandmothers.

My own marriage has endured fifty-eight years (my husband became a house husband long before the term was popular. He was very good at tending children, vegetable gardens, and bee keeping)! We are grand parents and great grandparents now!

I acquired three educational degrees and enjoyed a successful teaching career for thirty five years. My favorite pastimes are reading, writing, sewing and listening to the radio. Yes the three engines of change not only changed my life, but, the lives of numerous contemporaries across Appalachia. We endure and persevere! We are a force to be reckoned! We are Appalachian WOMEN!

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MEMORIES OF JOE CLYDE BROWN
Betty Jo Arnett Lykins

 
Most everyone having the privilege of knowing Joe Brown, also, knew he was a master story teller. Today, I want to tell you a story about Joe.
 
Joe was my first cousin once removed. I have known and loved him all my seventy seven and one half years on earth. Memories from seventy odd years ago come to mind.

Joe's mother, the late Lou Em Arnett Brown was the only sister of my grandfather Clay Arnett. The Arnett Homeplace in Magoffin Countywas always the site
of family gatherings. Since Aunt Lou and Uncle Fred lived in Wolfe County, they traveled to Magoffin by a horse drawn wagon and were always the last to arrive.

We Arnett girl cousins would gang up on the back porch, gazing down the road for the first glimpse of our favorite cousin. When they came into view, Joe would be standing behind his parents holding onto the brake stick. He would wave his cap in the air,  shouting, "hello cousins". We girls would let go a long collective sigh of
pleasure. The Brown Family had arrived, a day of happiness could begin.

When the horses were put in the barn and every one settled, Joe would put his cap under his arm walk around shaking hands with all the uncles, kissing all the aunts on
the cheek, and smiling at all the girls.

Before the male cousins who were gawking at him could say a word, he would challenge them to a foot race. Up the dusty road they would go, Joe usually emerging the smiling winner. No one seemed to mind!

Looking back on those happy times, I realize, Joe's Arnett relatives were his first captive audience. His long career as a servant of the people began when he was a child and did not end until March 9, 2014.

Our large extended family came of age, moving to various parts of the USA, but, always remembering we had a hero in our midst. By the late 1940's, without a doubt, Joe had grown into the most handsome man in the state of KY. With his chiseled features, twinkling eyes, and curly brown hair, he was a combination of James Dean, John F. Kennedy, and Robert Redford. He possessed the sultry good looks of Dean, the class and finesse of Kennedy, and the sweetness and honesty of Redford.
 
Joe was elegant, charismatic, confident and cocky, but, always sweet and humble too. He was highly intelligent, he could size up a situation and calculate the results in a split second. He was articulate and gracious, comfortable and at ease with the distinguished to the ordinary. His goodness of heart was legendary and his generosity of spirit had no
peer.

Joe loved his wife, his children, and grandchildren unconditionally. He loved and stayed in touch with his large extended family. Spending time with Joe was a privilege whether it was working in the fields or attending a conference, one always felt better by being in his presence.

Joe had a special relationship with the ancestral land he farmed and tended with love. He was an advocate for the well being of children and young people. If he could give us one more piece of advice, I am confident he would say " love your family, plant a crop, and HUG a child
today...

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